‘I saw her sneaking around my house with the flashlight’: 8-year friendship on blast after homeowner catches their ‘friend’ on the security cameras rummaging through their house while they're out of town

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  • "AITAH for ending an eight year friendship after my cameras recorded her in my home when I was out of town?"

    Backstory: My friend and I met when I was her hairstylist. Then we realized that we only lived about six blocks apart. Due in part to the proximity, we became very close and she would stop by 3 or more times a week. We enjoyed a lot of the same crafts and we had a
  • mutual love of plants so we often worked together in my yard, or hung out by my firepit. She had a lot of constant personal relationship crisis (which I always pointed out that she brought on herself) and it became more and more
  • exhausting to spend time with her. Consequently, I slowly tried to limit our time together (although I did care about her and knew she didn't have many other friends.).
  • OK... so I went out of town to visit my daughter at college, but before I left I installed the new security system that I had received. It didn't really occur to me to mention it to anyone. When I was with my daughter,
  • I told her about it and we got on her phone so I could teach her how to watch the cameras at home also. (We have two cats and she wanted to be ableto see them and interact with them.) I was showing her
  • how to see the clips from the motions detected earlier in the day. It was nighttime so the house was dark - in which case the camera lights are on for detection.
  • In a clip from two hours earlier, I noticed my "friend" walking through my house with the flashlight of her phone. She was inspecting every drawer, cupboard and nook & cranny. My daughter and I were in shock. I texted her immediately.
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  • I asked her if she was at my house today and she replied that she had been in the backyard picking up sticks (apparently for a fire pit she intended to have at her home that evening.) again I asked
  • her if she had been in the house. She responded that she had to go into my garage to look for a container. I then told her I had security cameras now. She laughed and asked why I was asking her if she was there because I
  • had obviously seen her already in the backyard. She had no clue that I had also installed them in the house. So I sent her a screenshot, and asked her if she knew who that person might be in my house with the flashlight.
  • She waited a few minutes to respond and then said, "oh yeah... Your cat got out." I asked her how my cat would get out if nobody was in the house and she responded, "I'm so sorry, I forgot that I was looking in your house for
  • some gel pens because I needed to do artwork." I reminded her that she had just bought 100 of them the previous week. At this point, I was really getting ped. I told her that I was freaked out
  • that I saw her sneaking around my house with the flashlight and that made me uncomfortable. She just kept laughing it off and then when she realized I really was upset, she changed her tune to one
  • of remorse and said she just needed to find something to do because she was upset with her boyfriend. I told her that I didn't think I could spend time with her anymore because I had spent years trying to teach her about
  • boundaries and our friendship was beginning to exhausting me.. So I was telling the story to the guy that rents my basement and he said that she is at my house every time I'm out of town. He was used to
  • seeing her around, so he thought maybe I had asked her to do something there. Two weeks later she texted and needed relationship advice, and acted like since we were "so close" it should not be a big deal. I told her
  • what my basement renter said (I was super ped at this point.) She became very offended and said it was nobody else's business and I should not have told anybody about it. I told her our friendship was definitely over
  • and to not contact me again. I told her that I was removing myself from toxic people. Later, I was talking to one of my other friends (also a client) about it, and they kind of made me feel that I was not a
  • very good friend because I needed to have a talk with her and forgive her. They said that people make mistakes I need to be forgiven and she should get another chance.
  • Since she was exhausting me anyway, I just can't bring myself to want to have anything to do with her. AITA?? PS... she did NOT have a key. I did not always lock my back garage door. Lesson learned!
  • (UPDATE) The reason I second-guessed myself is because of my own weak boundaries. I felt sorry for her and thought it probably wouldn't happen again. BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I FOUND OUT THAT SHE HAD DONE IT MANY TIMES BEFORE. And
  • my other friend that told me that I should forgive is just a super kind and loving person. I know I made the right decision, but of course there is a sadness and loss of what I thought was an eight year "friendship.
  • Fit_Try_2657 What? So a person breaks and enters into your home multiple times and is already a bad friend and you're considering listening to a client who thinks you should forgive? You can forgive her. But definitely change your locks and do not rekindle the friendship.

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